Ides of March *Spoiler Alert*

Bill and I had a wonderful date night this past weekend complete with a dinner and a movie. We chose Ides of March because the trailer was intriguing. I tend to avoid reading reviews before I go to a movie because how is some stranger going to know what I like in a movie. And most reviews spoil the movie for me. And, yet, here I am writing a review. So, if you were planning on going to see it. Go. Be entertained and then come back and have a read.

But, I will call this more of an analysis. Yes, I like the sound of that. It is an analysis of what I discovered in the movie to be a powerful statement on the use, purpose, and consequences of abortion. I am fairly certain that this statement was an unintended consequence of the producers, though. Just a guess, but, sometimes, we cannot see what is right before our eyes.

The movie is a behind the scenes look at the dark side of politics during a presidential primary. George Clooney plays an atheist progressive democrat candidate who is running against a Christian moderate democrat. Ryan Gosling plays a young, ambitious, kool-aid drinking campaign adviser to Clooney's character. It is clear that all players will use whatever information they can to promote their candidate and demonize their opponent. Gosling's character discusses various ways to spin information. It's clearly all a game. And you get the sense that "all is fair in love and war" is embraced and played out here.

Enter the intern. A political intern. I don't even have to tell you that the intern is female, do I? And, she is attractive? And that Gosling and the intern engage in a meaningless sexual encounter following drinks one night? You saw that coming. That seems to be what is associated with political interns. Go figure.

On a subsequent encounter with Gosling, the intern reveals that she had a meaningless and unintended sexual encounter with the married candidate played by Clooney. And now she is pregnant. A wall comes up and Gosling's character jumps into campaign mode and finds a way to get campaign funds to pay for an abortion and take care of "the situation."

A child has been conceived. It is called a situation. The intern is called a situation. You can see it in her eyes when that word is used. She is told to get the abortion and disappear. She overdoses on the post abortive medications mixed with alcohol. She has been discarded as yesterdays trash just as the baby was. Life, in this scenario is something to be used and assigned a value based on how it can serve or how it can interfere. The practice of abortion is the practice of assigning value to a human life based on subjective criteria. How can this baby serve me? How can this baby interfere with my life?

What if, she got out of town before she had the abortion? What if she decided that these diabolical political types were going to just use and abuse her and throw her out? What if she went ahead and had the baby and the scandal broke out? What if the dirty games were revealed and exposed? In the end, the baby would secure a just and forthright political process. But, in the end of this movie, we are left knowing that the winning candidate raped, plundered,and pillaged his way to the top. And, nothing is what it seems.

Hey, Michael Moore You Got Some Splainin' to Do!

In what kind of twisted world do the rights of a known terrorist who is responsible for the deaths of thousands of innocent lives trump the rights of an unborn child? In Michael Moore's world, is the answer. Today, on The View , Michael Moore presented his new book. I don't know what it is about, although there is a charming picture on the cover.  But, no interview with Michael Moore is complete without asking him his opinion on the Iraq war and the fate of Osama bin Laden.  Apparently, he is the beacon of truth and honor when it comes to right to life issues.  Except when it comes to abortion.  What?! Uh, yeah. He declared with grand arm gestures, "As a catholic, it is wrong to take the life of a person unless it is in self defense!"  Good.  Me, too.  I'm right there with ya, Michael.  But when the blonde co-host asked him if that meant he was pro-life, he hesitated and mumbled and tried to recover, saying, "I'm pro-life in the sense that I don't believe you should kill people."  Good.  Me either.  Killing people is serious, wrong business.  If he was sitting next to me, I would have fist bumped him.

But, then, I heard the words..."Not when it comes to abortion."  And, Joy Behar could be heard giving an assist to the stumbling guest, by saying..."When they're alive.  When they are alive. He's pro-life when they are alive."  Okay.  Awkward.  Michael Moore is right to life when people are alive.  But that does not include abortion.  Does that mean, Michael Moore, that you came on The View today to say that Osama bin Laden deserved his day in court but these babies are not alive?

Where Were You?

I was folding a load of laundry when I got the call from my father that the first plane had hit.  I turned on the television in my bedroom quietly.  I had a toddler sleeping in the next room and I didn't want to wake her.  There I sat, with my pregnant belly, still in my bed clothes, folding laundry when I watched the second plane fly into the second tower.  I called my father back and we were mostly speechless but making comments in the form of unfinished sentences and moments of silence as we were caught in disbelief.  Then, we got news about the pentagon.  Dad said he was going to call my other siblings.  I attempted to call my husband.  I would not be able to reach him for three hours.

I never finished folding that load.

Somehow, I fed my little girl and we sat in the den that morning.  She was oblivious to the chatter on the television as she emptied the legos out of the box and clinked them together and tried to stack them.  When the images became unbearable and the panic of non-stop breaking news started to scroll across the bottom of the screen, I turned off the television and just sat with my daughter and watched her play. Occasionally, I felt the sure kick of a new life, that of my soon to be first born son.  I was aware at that point of how many moms and dads had perished.

Where were you, God?  Where were all the guardian angels to catch those people when they had to jump because the heat from the flames was far worse than the thought of plunging to their death?  Where were you, God?  Does that not enter the mind of all of us, no matter how sure or unsure we are of our faith?  And, certainly the non believers ask, where was your God on September 11, 2001? 

Where is God?  Right now.  When a child is starving.  When an earth quake strikes. 

We believe him to be omniscient.  He, and only He, has the ability to see the really big, big picture.  So, for us, mere humans, with our brains no bigger than the size of our coupled fists, it is difficult to comprehend how He could allow these things to happen.  We can't see the complete picture from all angles.  We are lacking the gift of infinite wisdom. We only know a small part of the story.  We know what we read in the bible and what is passed down through our tradition as Christians.  But, God does not really spell it all out for us.  So much of our life on earth is incomprehensible.  And it is in these times of horrific tragedy where our faith takes on a palpable shape in our lives.  At these crossroads we can either continue to walk in faith or we can walk away.  We can declare that God is dead or we can ask God what we are to do next.

We have come this far by faith.  Let us continue on in faith, despite circumstantial evidence to the contrary.  By faith, I have my second born son, Joseph. There is no other explanation for his being in this world.  Without faith, I would not have left myself open for a fifth child at the age of 43.  Each time I behold him, the thought crosses my mind that I cannot understand how this world came to be, nor how it is each day, but I know that when I trust God, my life unfolds magnificently.

Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen. 

~Hebrews 11:1 

The Beauty of the Truth

I plucked a red pepper out of the garden yesterday. 
It was well formed with rounded quadrants at the top and bottom.  The skin was soft, smooth and ruby red.  The stem was perky and green and still had a leaf attached.  It had a scent of pepper mingling with sweetness.  It was simply beautiful.  It sits on my window sill and I gaze at it when I am at the sink.  I tend to put small beautiful things on my window sill.  I spend a lot of time in my kitchen and I like to surround myself with beautiful things.   Making beautiful things gives me great pleasure, too. When I cook, I am aware of the color and presentation of the food as much as the taste.  I consider the color of the platter and how it will complement my entree.  There is something about beauty, wherever it is found, that captivates us and makes us pause for a moment.  But, what is in that moment?  Why do we have beauty in our lives?

Fra Angelico was a monk who was also a painter.  I had the opportunity to explore the San Marco Monastery in Florence when I was in college.  On each dormitory wall, he had painted a fresco depicting moments in Christ's life.  I stood in the nearly empty dorms and imagined what it must have been like to awaken in this spartan room and the only thing other than walls and floor to greet the monk was a thing of beauty.  Colors and lines and symbols telling the story of our Lord.  What richness among the impoverished life of these monks!  It was as if they traded all the treasures that this natural world has to offer to live in the beauty of the eternal truth.

The life of Christ has inspired some of the most magnificent works of beauty known to man.  During my time in Florence and Rome, I was able to experience coming face to face with so much beauty.  So many gifted painters.  Not just Michelangelo and Leonardo Da vinci, but their many apprentices, too.  And not just painting, but literature, architecture, and music has also been created by man to glorify God.  We have G.K. Chesterton, Flannery O'Connor, and  Robert Southwell, to name a few, whose writing uses the beauty of language in either its poetic or reasonable tilt to tell the truth. 


By stark contrast, when beauty is absent, we find darkness, confusion, destruction and despair.  When the towers fell, ten years ago on September 11, 2001, we witnessed the opposite of creation.  We witnessed destruction.  The images that emerged from that tragic day were filled with darkness, confusion, destruction and despair.  In the same way, we pause and we are captivated.  But there is something very different that moment when we behold ugliness. When something is created to glorify God, there will be beauty.  If we really believe this to be true, we must question how war and acts of war can ever be considered acts that glorify God.  In light of the recent conflicts, Pope Benedict has said that we need to be "asking ourselves if it is still licit to admit the very existence of a 'just war'."  In the face of the depraved images of war, I hope we can pause and reflect on how we can resolve the problems in the world without turning to acts of war.

Since September 11, 2001, we have each done our part to restore beauty to the landscape of our life.  There are so many little ways that we can participate in God's ongoing creation.  Grow a garden, knit a scarf, paint a picture, play a song on the piano and take moments to experience beauty wherever you can find it.  And create it where it is lacking.

from New Heaven, New War

With tears He fights and wins the field,
His naked breast stands for a shield,
His battering shot are babish cries,
His arrows, looks of weeping eyes,
His martial ensigns, cold and need,

And feeble flesh His warrior's steed.
~Robert Southwell

Botticelli, Madonna of the Magnificat

Same Sticky Counters, Different Day

Irene has come and gone. She didn't leave much damage behind for me to clean up. I didn't even lose power. Yet, my house looks like a hurricane hit it from the inside. I have thought of writing a to-do-list. But that is just too obvious. So, I chatted with a few friends online and discovered they are in the same boat. I mean, not a similar boat, but exactly the same model, year and color. One friend posted her to-do-list and I could just cut and paste it and call it mine. That does not make the situation any better. Not only do I feel overwhelmed, but I am not in any way special or unique. I cannot lament that no one understands. About a zillion other women understand. Not only do they understand, but they can trump me with their stories.

So, what's the point? How do I find meaning in the crumby, the sticky, the wet
and the tantrum-y essence of motherhood?


I have many ideas on how to find the meaning. I could live "in the moment." Embrace the "nowness" of life. Just exist for the pureness of the immediate space in front of me. Saturate my senses in the being of a mother with two toddlers at her ankles. On days like this, living in the moment talk gets big eye rolls from me. How am I supposed to linger in the moment of a toddler who has discovered he can climb up on the bar, over the bar and dance on the edge and climb back down. And do it over again, repeatedly, ad nauseum.


I "know" what I need to do. But, today, I have lost either the will or the will power to do it. So, on days like this, I really lower my expectations.

I do just enough housework to keep the vermin at bay. I twist my hair in a clip, brush my teeth and get dressed just enough to look decent from the vantage point of the bus driver when he comes to get the kids but not so dressed that I could go grocery shopping without getting wide eyed looks from fellow shoppers. It's either hormones or just plain exhaustion. Whatever it is, it is not unique to motherhood or being a woman or being a stay at home mom. This is an everyman day. Dads have it, too. And grandmas and grandpas and young executives and athletes. And I can be thankful that it is just a day or two or three. If it went on for two weeks or more, I would have to seek help. So, I cannot blame my vocation or the number of kids. At the end of the day, or at the end of days, as it were, my vocation will be a key to my salvation. That, and my conviction to persevere to the end, despite days like these.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5

Irene, Downgraded to Tropical Storm and Veers off to the East

The Mid Atlantic States are breathing a sigh of relief as they are spared from the blow that they were expecting from Hurricane Irene. All that is left are rainbows and smiling puppies as Irene took a sharp turn to the east...

Okay, so I am up way too late and dreaming up the headlines for the morning. Because I want to wake up and find out that the forecasters were wrong. I want to hear that the cone of uncertainty was indeed uncertain. And what is now certain is that this storm is a non-story. I want to go about my normal order of business. I want to watch the newscasters quickly dig up new news story now that Irene has been lost at sea. Don't we have shark bite stories to cover? I'd like to take my kids to the pool to enjoy one of the last days of summer 2011. I don't want to spend the morning battening down the hatches and soothing anxious children who wonder why I am battening down the hatches. I don't even know how to batten. And I don't know where we keep the hatches.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I do know that I have to show up and be ready. So, that means I have to go to bed. I pray that God is merciful to all those in the path of this storm. And, I pray that I can be a source of calm and confidence for my children as we ride out this storm together.


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

Lose 20 pounds by Christmas

I know what sells magazines. Tell people how they can look and feel better. And, if you do want to lose 20 lbs by Christmas, you can. There are about 2,000 different diet plans that will get you there. The keys to success are setting goals, having accountability, eating less, and moving more. It's not rocket science. But, I did not really want to write a post on weight loss tips. What I wanted my title to read is, "How to get closer to God by Christmas." How do we get closer to God? Closeness to God is difficult to quantify, but I think we can use the same approach to spiritual well-being as we do our physical well-being.

First, we can set spiritual goals. Have you ever set a spiritual goal? What would that look like? A good goal is measurable and achievable. For example, I will do spiritual reading for 20 minutes each morning for 2 weeks. Reading daily for 20 minutes might be achievable for some, but not for others. So, know your limitations. Once you achieve this goal, you can evaluate your progress. Do you feel closer to God? Another way of evaluating this is to ask yourself if you feel that your faith is strengthened.

Next, incorporate accountability into your spiritual growth. You can get your spouse to do this with you. Or you can ask a friend or group of friends to join you. Or, if you want to keep it personal and private, you can keep a journal and check off each time you make your goal. The journal can also be a place to record your thoughts about your spiritual journey.

Families can set goals, too. My family would like to get together to say the rosary. But, often, life gets in the way and days and weeks pass without a family rosary. However, if we set a goal together as a family, one that is measurable and achievable, then, we are much more likely to sit down together. A daily family rosary with kids, two of whom are toddlers, is not achievable for us. However, we can gather at least once a week, perhaps on Sunday evenings, to say a family rosary. If we do this for 2 weeks and we feel good about our progress, then maybe we can start gathering twice a week. And we could progress towards a daily family rosary by Christmas.

Now, what about the eating less and moving more? Well, that doesn't apply to spiritual growth, directly. But, you can certainly sin less and do more works of mercy. How do you sin less? First, start with a clean slate. Make a thorough examination of your conscience. Then, go to confession. This will absolve you of all your sins and give you the sanctifying grace to avoid those same sins in the future. Set a confession goal, too. My family makes it a goal to go once per month. Frequent confession is the key to sinning less. And if you do this once per month, you will find that your faith is strengthened and you will be closer to God by Christmas.

Increasing works of mercy is another way to grow closer to God. And, goal setting will help you achieve this. Having accountability partners will also make it more likely that you will do more works of mercy. We have a family friend who is in a nursing home. And, if we do not set a goal and schedule a visit, life gets in the way. And before we know it a week goes by, or a month or several months before we realize that we have not visited our friend. We cannot let that happen. If we do achieve our goal, we not only please a friend but also and we find ourselves in compliance with Christ's greatest commandment, to love one another as He loves us.

Of course, I might want to think about those weight loss goals, too. I mean, what is Christmas without cookies and candy canes? It might be good to make a little exta room for all that yumminess without feeling too guilty.

I ♥ Haters

I saw those words on a bumper sticker the other day. At first blush, it felt like the sticky vinyl equivalent to an offensive hand gesture to all who have the misfortune of driving behind the owner's vehicle. But, as a I continued on down the road, I gave it a little more thought. I let the image of the red heart and the words float around in a more complex area of my brain. The bumper sticker did not say, "I ♥ Hate." I hate the word hate. I am frequently lamenting to my children that there is no equivalent for the word hate in Spanish. So, I tell them there is no reason we need to use it just because the English language wants to be so darn specific. Rather, I ask them to say, "I don't like (fill in the blank)." No, the bumper sticker said, " I ♥ Haters." Haters are people, ergo, the owner of the vehicle is expressing his love for people, even if they hate. So, in the final analysis, the driver is boasting of Godly love, the love that we must work at, the love that has no immediate pay off.

So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love. Corinthians 1 13:13

"Who put the potty in the playpen?!"

That's just one of the questions that I shout to myself on a random Saturday morning when no one is around to hear me. Picture this: I come downstairs after my kids and my husband have let me sleep in. It is quiet in the house because they have all left for the morning to go about their Saturday activities. I ignore the scattered Lego's that I trip over to get to my cup of coffee. I ignore the orange colored glob of something that has just attached itself to my sleeve. I sip. I walk through the kitchen, assessing my morning plan. Then, it happens. "Who put paper cups in the dishwasher?!" I start to see the trail that they have left behind. I breathe deep. I exhale. I sip. And I realize that I have two choices. I can yell at the ceiling and wave my fist at the heavens and whimper...why me? Or...cue the harp...I can take a deep breath and fall to my knees and thank God for the footprints and fingerprints that are evidence of the life I live. And now, the pool of yogurt in the corner of the dining room is no longer a source of discontent, but rather a moment filled with Grace and my path is laid out before me.



But, wait. How do we get from point A to point B? What if you have a difficult child? A sick husband? What if the car breaks down at the same time that a big tuition bill is due? I don't mean to trivialize the tests that can be laid before us by suggesting that we be little Mary sunshine all day long. But, our actions reveal the faith that we proclaim. If we are fearful of what will happen next or full of rage for the carelessness of others, then we are shouting out with our actions that there is no God. It is that plain. We allow ourselves to chip away at our faith with each outburst of indignation and with each time that we fail to accept humiliations as part of our spiritual growth.

There are steps we can take to clear our path to being the happy housewife, husband, son, or daughter. First, establish a daily spiritual habit. This can include prayers and reading. This step is most effective if it becomes the first thing you do each morning and the last thing you do each night. Second, get plenty of rest, eat right, limit alcohol intake and get some exercise. You will find that you have a deeper pool of resources if you take care of your body. Third, practice what you preach. If we demonstrate faith in small things, then we will be prepared to face greater challenges with greater faith. Examine areas in your life where you could rely on God, but you choose to rely on yourself. Fourth, look for opportunities to practice the virtue that is the direct opposite of whatever vice you are struggling with. Complement your difficult child the first time you see him do anything worth complementing. Donate to a charity when you are hit with a financial burden. Take on a physical challenge when you find that your physical abilities are limited. Fifth, become active in your faith community through volunteer work or activism. Offer to make phone calls for a committee, bake cookies for a fundraiser, or attend a pro-life rally. These are all ways that you can demonstrate to yourself and your loved ones that you have faith and that all things are possible with God. And by doing these things, you will find that you have the ability to smile and laugh next time you find a purple crayon drawing of Noah's ark in your stairwell.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you,

and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

~Psalm 139

Do You Pray With Confidence?

There is this part in Mass where the priest says: "And now, let us pray with confidence in the words our Savior gave us." This is followed by the Our Father. I hear these words each week but, recently, they took on special meaning. While my father was in surgery, I stayed with my mother and we waited by her ipad (modern day pacing of hospital halls) for words from my brother who was at the hospital. My 2 1/2 year old daughter, perhaps sensing the tension and worry while playing in the room we were sitting in, heard us talking about "Poppy." She said "Poppy's going to be alright and he's gonna come home." Just like that.

From that moment, I decided, that rather than sit in worry, I should just pray with confidence that my father would recover. He came out of surgery in exactly the amount of time that the surgeon estimated and that was a great sign. However, I nearly fainted when I was able to see my father in ICU. He had so many tubes. I could see how uncomfortable he was and it broke my confidence. The next day, I held vigil with my siblings waiting for my father to come out of sedation. I could see that my brother, who is a physician, was concerned that there was a problem. I decided not to go to the hospital on the 3rd day because I was getting discouraged and my worry was clouding my ability to pray with confidence. Then, my sense of humor kicked in. I told my siblings that watching Dad recover was like watching paint dry and I was not going to sit by his bed for another day and watch him drool. They knew I was joking, but it was my way of saying to them this: He is going to be alright and he is going to come home! So, I stayed with my mother and I de-cluttered his side of the bed and his favorite areas of the house, getting ready for his return. The next morning, I got a text from my brother that said: Dad is back 100%!!!

Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. ~Hebrews 4:16

PEACE BEGINS WITH A SMILE

Mother Theresa once said, "Peace begins with a smile." I thought of this the other day when I jolted to a stop at a stop sign where an elderly lady had paused before crossing. The jolt of my car startled her and she cast her eyes down and away from me. I tried smiling, apologetically, but was unable to meet her eyes. Then we were in a stand off because I was not going to move until after she crossed. But, in order for her to cross, she would have to make eye-contact. Alas, she looked up from her cane, cautiously, and my bright smile was waiting, accompanied by a gesture with my hands to "please cross." I wanted to roll down my window and tell her to have a lovely day. I wanted to tell her that I love seeing her walk around town with a cane and to please take her time and don't feel rushed. I wanted to tell her what a gift it was to see an elderly lady walking with a cane. It occurred to me that she is often met with glares of impatience and, perhaps, unkind words. Our youth-obsessed culture has no use for old ladies with canes. Rather, they are the butt of jokes. So, many, I am sure, opt to stay home where they can hobble in peace. I hope that my smile was enough to give her a little peace as she continued on her journey.