Same Sticky Counters, Different Day

Irene has come and gone. She didn't leave much damage behind for me to clean up. I didn't even lose power. Yet, my house looks like a hurricane hit it from the inside. I have thought of writing a to-do-list. But that is just too obvious. So, I chatted with a few friends online and discovered they are in the same boat. I mean, not a similar boat, but exactly the same model, year and color. One friend posted her to-do-list and I could just cut and paste it and call it mine. That does not make the situation any better. Not only do I feel overwhelmed, but I am not in any way special or unique. I cannot lament that no one understands. About a zillion other women understand. Not only do they understand, but they can trump me with their stories.

So, what's the point? How do I find meaning in the crumby, the sticky, the wet
and the tantrum-y essence of motherhood?


I have many ideas on how to find the meaning. I could live "in the moment." Embrace the "nowness" of life. Just exist for the pureness of the immediate space in front of me. Saturate my senses in the being of a mother with two toddlers at her ankles. On days like this, living in the moment talk gets big eye rolls from me. How am I supposed to linger in the moment of a toddler who has discovered he can climb up on the bar, over the bar and dance on the edge and climb back down. And do it over again, repeatedly, ad nauseum.


I "know" what I need to do. But, today, I have lost either the will or the will power to do it. So, on days like this, I really lower my expectations.

I do just enough housework to keep the vermin at bay. I twist my hair in a clip, brush my teeth and get dressed just enough to look decent from the vantage point of the bus driver when he comes to get the kids but not so dressed that I could go grocery shopping without getting wide eyed looks from fellow shoppers. It's either hormones or just plain exhaustion. Whatever it is, it is not unique to motherhood or being a woman or being a stay at home mom. This is an everyman day. Dads have it, too. And grandmas and grandpas and young executives and athletes. And I can be thankful that it is just a day or two or three. If it went on for two weeks or more, I would have to seek help. So, I cannot blame my vocation or the number of kids. At the end of the day, or at the end of days, as it were, my vocation will be a key to my salvation. That, and my conviction to persevere to the end, despite days like these.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5