Same Sticky Counters, Different Day

Irene has come and gone. She didn't leave much damage behind for me to clean up. I didn't even lose power. Yet, my house looks like a hurricane hit it from the inside. I have thought of writing a to-do-list. But that is just too obvious. So, I chatted with a few friends online and discovered they are in the same boat. I mean, not a similar boat, but exactly the same model, year and color. One friend posted her to-do-list and I could just cut and paste it and call it mine. That does not make the situation any better. Not only do I feel overwhelmed, but I am not in any way special or unique. I cannot lament that no one understands. About a zillion other women understand. Not only do they understand, but they can trump me with their stories.

So, what's the point? How do I find meaning in the crumby, the sticky, the wet
and the tantrum-y essence of motherhood?


I have many ideas on how to find the meaning. I could live "in the moment." Embrace the "nowness" of life. Just exist for the pureness of the immediate space in front of me. Saturate my senses in the being of a mother with two toddlers at her ankles. On days like this, living in the moment talk gets big eye rolls from me. How am I supposed to linger in the moment of a toddler who has discovered he can climb up on the bar, over the bar and dance on the edge and climb back down. And do it over again, repeatedly, ad nauseum.


I "know" what I need to do. But, today, I have lost either the will or the will power to do it. So, on days like this, I really lower my expectations.

I do just enough housework to keep the vermin at bay. I twist my hair in a clip, brush my teeth and get dressed just enough to look decent from the vantage point of the bus driver when he comes to get the kids but not so dressed that I could go grocery shopping without getting wide eyed looks from fellow shoppers. It's either hormones or just plain exhaustion. Whatever it is, it is not unique to motherhood or being a woman or being a stay at home mom. This is an everyman day. Dads have it, too. And grandmas and grandpas and young executives and athletes. And I can be thankful that it is just a day or two or three. If it went on for two weeks or more, I would have to seek help. So, I cannot blame my vocation or the number of kids. At the end of the day, or at the end of days, as it were, my vocation will be a key to my salvation. That, and my conviction to persevere to the end, despite days like these.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5

Irene, Downgraded to Tropical Storm and Veers off to the East

The Mid Atlantic States are breathing a sigh of relief as they are spared from the blow that they were expecting from Hurricane Irene. All that is left are rainbows and smiling puppies as Irene took a sharp turn to the east...

Okay, so I am up way too late and dreaming up the headlines for the morning. Because I want to wake up and find out that the forecasters were wrong. I want to hear that the cone of uncertainty was indeed uncertain. And what is now certain is that this storm is a non-story. I want to go about my normal order of business. I want to watch the newscasters quickly dig up new news story now that Irene has been lost at sea. Don't we have shark bite stories to cover? I'd like to take my kids to the pool to enjoy one of the last days of summer 2011. I don't want to spend the morning battening down the hatches and soothing anxious children who wonder why I am battening down the hatches. I don't even know how to batten. And I don't know where we keep the hatches.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I do know that I have to show up and be ready. So, that means I have to go to bed. I pray that God is merciful to all those in the path of this storm. And, I pray that I can be a source of calm and confidence for my children as we ride out this storm together.


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

Lose 20 pounds by Christmas

I know what sells magazines. Tell people how they can look and feel better. And, if you do want to lose 20 lbs by Christmas, you can. There are about 2,000 different diet plans that will get you there. The keys to success are setting goals, having accountability, eating less, and moving more. It's not rocket science. But, I did not really want to write a post on weight loss tips. What I wanted my title to read is, "How to get closer to God by Christmas." How do we get closer to God? Closeness to God is difficult to quantify, but I think we can use the same approach to spiritual well-being as we do our physical well-being.

First, we can set spiritual goals. Have you ever set a spiritual goal? What would that look like? A good goal is measurable and achievable. For example, I will do spiritual reading for 20 minutes each morning for 2 weeks. Reading daily for 20 minutes might be achievable for some, but not for others. So, know your limitations. Once you achieve this goal, you can evaluate your progress. Do you feel closer to God? Another way of evaluating this is to ask yourself if you feel that your faith is strengthened.

Next, incorporate accountability into your spiritual growth. You can get your spouse to do this with you. Or you can ask a friend or group of friends to join you. Or, if you want to keep it personal and private, you can keep a journal and check off each time you make your goal. The journal can also be a place to record your thoughts about your spiritual journey.

Families can set goals, too. My family would like to get together to say the rosary. But, often, life gets in the way and days and weeks pass without a family rosary. However, if we set a goal together as a family, one that is measurable and achievable, then, we are much more likely to sit down together. A daily family rosary with kids, two of whom are toddlers, is not achievable for us. However, we can gather at least once a week, perhaps on Sunday evenings, to say a family rosary. If we do this for 2 weeks and we feel good about our progress, then maybe we can start gathering twice a week. And we could progress towards a daily family rosary by Christmas.

Now, what about the eating less and moving more? Well, that doesn't apply to spiritual growth, directly. But, you can certainly sin less and do more works of mercy. How do you sin less? First, start with a clean slate. Make a thorough examination of your conscience. Then, go to confession. This will absolve you of all your sins and give you the sanctifying grace to avoid those same sins in the future. Set a confession goal, too. My family makes it a goal to go once per month. Frequent confession is the key to sinning less. And if you do this once per month, you will find that your faith is strengthened and you will be closer to God by Christmas.

Increasing works of mercy is another way to grow closer to God. And, goal setting will help you achieve this. Having accountability partners will also make it more likely that you will do more works of mercy. We have a family friend who is in a nursing home. And, if we do not set a goal and schedule a visit, life gets in the way. And before we know it a week goes by, or a month or several months before we realize that we have not visited our friend. We cannot let that happen. If we do achieve our goal, we not only please a friend but also and we find ourselves in compliance with Christ's greatest commandment, to love one another as He loves us.

Of course, I might want to think about those weight loss goals, too. I mean, what is Christmas without cookies and candy canes? It might be good to make a little exta room for all that yumminess without feeling too guilty.

I ♥ Haters

I saw those words on a bumper sticker the other day. At first blush, it felt like the sticky vinyl equivalent to an offensive hand gesture to all who have the misfortune of driving behind the owner's vehicle. But, as a I continued on down the road, I gave it a little more thought. I let the image of the red heart and the words float around in a more complex area of my brain. The bumper sticker did not say, "I ♥ Hate." I hate the word hate. I am frequently lamenting to my children that there is no equivalent for the word hate in Spanish. So, I tell them there is no reason we need to use it just because the English language wants to be so darn specific. Rather, I ask them to say, "I don't like (fill in the blank)." No, the bumper sticker said, " I ♥ Haters." Haters are people, ergo, the owner of the vehicle is expressing his love for people, even if they hate. So, in the final analysis, the driver is boasting of Godly love, the love that we must work at, the love that has no immediate pay off.

So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love. Corinthians 1 13:13